1. My problem is getting lost in a store. This problem is important because if you are lost you don't know where you are and you don't the people around you.
2. Every time I get lost you get butterflies in my stomach and I feel a little scared.
3. I should stay with my parents and try not to wonder away.
4. If I want to look at something ask I'll ask my parents to go and look at it with me. Or I'll tell them to meet me at a spot in the store in a number of minutes. But first make sure they are paying attention to me.
5. If I can't find my parents I will stay in one place or call my parents. The solution will help me from not getting lost.
6. Now with these steps I am sure that I will never get lost again.
Paragraph
Have you ever been lost in a store? I have and trust me it isn't fun, especially when I do not know the store very well. I hate it when I get butterflies in my stomach and they will not settle until I find my parents. If I get lost in any store, I get butterflies in my stomach and I feel like I am never going to find my parents again. But I should remember that my parents won't leave without me. But with these two simple steps I can find my parents again and still be safe. Step one: Stay in one place: When I get lost and do not know where my parents are, I need to remember to stay in one place and DO NOT PANIC!!! That's the key: Not to panic. I need to find a person that works at the store, that is around where I am. When I find someone that works at the store , I will tell the worker my situation and trust the worker that they will help me. They will me to find my parents again. When we find my parents again I need to remember to thank them for helping me.
Step two: Call their parents: Another simple step is to call my parents. If I have a phone with me, I will call my parents and tell them where I am in the store. If I do not have a phone with me, I will find a worker around me and tell them my situation. Then I will ask them if I could use their phone. When I call my parents, again I will tell them that I am O.K., where I am in the store, and who's phone I am using to make this call.
With these steps I can stay calm, be safe, and find my family or parents again. Then maybe I will not get lost again. I just need to remember not to panic! It's as easy as one, two, three!!
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Thank you for coming up with a novel problem, and one that is a problem that many children face.
Ideas 4 Clearly state the problem at the end of the introduction and again at the beginning of the conclusion. You began your essay with it, but it needed to be written again at the end of the introduction and beginning of the conclusion. Organization 4 Basically the problem I discussed for ideas also is truefor organization; Word choice 4 There were very few specific words used; Voice 3 Specific descriptions, figures of speech, and, perhaps dialogue would create stronger voice; Fluency 5;Conventions 3 - Contractions were used, incorrect spellling in fourth paragraph, and problems with agreement.
Outline:
1. My problem is getting lost in a store. This problem is important because if you are lost you don't know where you are and you don't the people around you.
2. Every time I get lost you get butterflies in my stomach and I feel a little scared.
3. I should stay with my parents and try not to wonder away.
4. If I want to look at something ask I'll ask my parents to go and look at it with me. Or I'll tell them to meet me at a spot in the store in a number of minutes. But first make sure they are paying attention to me.
5. If I can't find my parents I will stay in one place or call my parents. The solution will help me from not getting lost.
6. Now with these steps I am sure that I will never get lost again.
Paragraph
Have you ever been lost in a store? I have and trust me it isn't fun, especially when I do not know the store very well. I hate it when I get butterflies in my stomach and they will not settle until I find my parents.
If I get lost in any store, I get butterflies in my stomach and I feel like I am never going to find my parents again. But I should remember that my parents won't leave without me. But with these two simple steps I can find my parents again and still be safe.
Step one: Stay in one place: When I get lost and do not know where my parents are, I need to remember to stay in one place and DO NOT PANIC!!! That's the key: Not to panic. I need to find a person that works at the store, that is around where I am. When I find someone that works at the store , I will tell the worker my situation and trust the worker that they will help me. They will me to find my parents again. When we find my parents again I need to remember to thank them for helping me.
Step two: Call their parents: Another simple step is to call my parents. If I have a phone with me, I will call my parents and tell them where I am in the store. If I do not have a phone with me, I will find a worker around me and tell them my situation. Then I will ask them if I could use their phone. When I call my parents, again I will tell them that I am O.K., where I am in the store, and who's phone I am using to make this call.
With these steps I can stay calm, be safe, and find my family or parents again. Then maybe I will not get lost again. I just need to remember not to panic! It's as easy as one, two, three!!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Thank you for coming up with a novel problem, and one that is a problem that many children face.
Ideas 4 Clearly state the problem at the end of the introduction and again at the beginning of the conclusion. You began your essay with it, but it needed to be written again at the end of the introduction and beginning of the conclusion. Organization 4 Basically the problem I discussed for ideas also is truefor organization; Word choice 4 There were very few specific words used; Voice 3 Specific descriptions, figures of speech, and, perhaps dialogue would create stronger voice; Fluency 5; Conventions 3 - Contractions were used, incorrect spellling in fourth paragraph, and problems with agreement.
total points = 23 = B-
b-